10 things I learned starting over at 31 

1. Find yourself and be yourself. Your flaws, regardless of the work you put in to change them will always be apart of who you have become. 
2. Love doesn’t have to be hard, and when you find that person that makes it easy hold on to them. 
3. Don’t take life so seriously. It’s already hard enough, try to enjoy it. 
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously, embrace your weird. 
5. Learn how to laugh at everything, seriously, laughter changes everything and every moment. 
6. Money is a tool you can use to either better your life or make it worse. Use it to make memories. Don’t let it become a stress. 
7. Sometimes you need to stay up late, drink too much, and make a fool of yourself. It’s good for you.
8. Let down your guard. The best things in life happen when you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. 
9. Put yourself above all else, because when you are right with yourself you can be right with the world around you. 
10. Never ever ever ever take anything for granted. Appreciate your success, your failures, your pain, and every single thing you have walked through. 

One more thing.  Number 11. 
11. Love is literally the only thing in life that really matters. Love yourself, love your family, love that person that makes your come alive inside (Melissa Hendrix), and love the world you live in. You only have one shot! You might as well enjoy it.



I wanted to take second and explain my passions. I am not angry with religion, the church, pastors, Christian’s, or anyone else for that matter. I am just like you, frustrated with the narrow minded interpretations I have been fed my whole life. I see God differently than most, I see him as a good father, seeking to love and let you grow. Let what you think you know go. Dig deep within your heat and break those things that keep you from you. Fight for yourself and find the true you. 

Lie #5 God will fix you….

I am writing a book about religion and I wanted to share a portion from chapter 5.

Lie #5
God will fix you.

No, God will not fix you. He can give you the tools and guidance to fix yourself but he will not fix you. Remember David still had to fight the giant. He was given some tools to do the job but God did not do it for him. Change requires action on your part. The church teaches that you must find God before you can find yourself. Because of this millions of Christians are sitting around broken and waiting for God to show them their path, or who they are, or they wait for him do to their heavy lifting. I do not want my children to find their identity in me, or spend their life waiting for me to tell them their destiny. I want them to use my guidance to find their own identity within themselves and then walk that path. God is very much the same way, he doesn’t want you to find your identity in him, he wants you to find it within yourself and live that out while having a relationship with him. Trying to find your identity in God is like trying to become a mountain when you were born a cloud. We are each unique creations and God is not trying to turn every human into himself, he wants a relationship with our uniqueness. Start looking at God through the eyes of a good father. A good father desires that his kids find who they are within themselves, and he understands this must be done on their own. He guides, he loves, he teaches, and he allows his children to become whatever it is in their heart to become. If I design a path for my son to follow and then predestined his life to match that path, then I have created nothing more than a robot to fulfill my own selfish desires. We are not robots, and God desires that we search within ourselves to find a discovery much more valuable than anything else in the world. By searching within we can unlock our true self and we will find him in the process. Love is what you find within yourself once you get to the core, and if God is love then you will find him there as well. This is why religion is so toxic to self discovery. Here is what so many are taught; love God, but you better hate yourself because you are a sinner and a hopeless failure desperately needing redemption and grace. I spent decades looking for deliverance from my problems in the walls of a church. I prayed, I got involved, I showed up to every conference, and I waited for God to move on my behalf. Then I realized he was waiting on me to move myself. The tools were already there and he had been trying to guide me for years, but I was focusing in the wrong direction. I dug into myself, not through prayer, not by asking God to do it for me, I dug into myself for myself. The tools had always been right there, I just had to stop looking out and start looking in. I took the guidance God gave me and I sought people who had the means to teach me how to use the tools inside me. It was not a church, preacher, prayer team, or a divine miracle. For me it took a coach, a martial arts fighter, a graveyard, a meditation teacher, an ice bath, and a back pack full of stones. Finding freedom through religion did not work, and it never really has. Jesus didn’t find himself by God telling him his identity. He spent 40 days starving in the desert attempting to overcome an accuser. In the original Greek texts for Mathew 4:1 the word used in the translation “Tempt” in Greek means to “try”, “endeavor”, or “to attempt something.” as well the word “Devil” used in the translation originally meant “an accuser”, or “anyone opposed to you”. Try to get your mind to separate itself from your images of a red skinned and horned creature from popular culture. What if this is an account of Jesus overcoming himself and searching out his true self, digging in and discovering his own identity. It was not until shortly after this that Jesus began his ministry. Is it so hard to see Jesus in the desert, alone, quietly facing himself and overcoming the accuser that was within him, himself. Jesus had to discover himself before he could walk out his destiny and God did not do it for him. He freed the world from sin, but he did not free you from having to live in the world. Yes, you are in the world and you are of the world and it kicks your ass just like it does everyone else. Religion is afraid of self discovery, meditation, and mysticism because they fear what they don’t understand and what they cannot control. When you start looking inside yourself and begin to know yourself and love yourself you become powerful. Your love for everything deepens because your ability to love becomes a deeper more meaningful thing. You stop being just another defeated person waiting around for God to fix you. Religion is designed to suppress the true potential of people. People are not taught how to unconditionally love themselves because not discovering that love keeps them always defeated in one way or another. Only you can find out who you truly are, and that truth is hidden under years of scars and pain and if you want it bad enough you will find a way to use the tools to uncover it. It will hurt, because this endeavor always requires some sort suffering. My suffering was both physical and emotional, and yours will be different because no two paths are alike. Seek first the Kingdom! The kingdom of heaven is inside of you and you must dig and you must fight to find your own identity and uncover the power that exists inside you. God has given you all the tools and if you don’t know how to use them find people who can show you. Stop waiting for God to answer your prayers while you sit on your ass doing the same things. You already have everything you need, start looking in and discover the person you are.


Humility is one of those things that is overlooked more often than not, because it’s the easiest thing to sacrifice for the sake of success, or determination, or business. Take for instance someone in a leadership role, they teach and train and pour their gifts into many who come and go. This leader has pride in what they do and that pride is good, pride is not the enemy of humility. There is always an undeniable moment that arises in the heart of every human being, and It is the moment when that person you helped becomes greater than you and more successful than you. For many, that pride you once felt turns into anger and resentment. Humility is the leader that knows sometimes they will be nothing more than a stepping stone for others. I’m not saying to go get stepped on. Humility doesn’t care if someone they helped is waving a flag with their face on it. Humility is the tell all trait, that when missing shows the intent of a person’s heart and the real “why” behind their actions. Humility is easy to hang onto during failure, and much harder to grasp during success. I would encourage you to always keep humility at your forefront and do what you do out of passion, love, and a heart full of humility.

The Kingdom

A preacher will tell you that the Kingdom is a church, or a religion, or a belief system. The kingdom is everywhere, in everything. Christ taught love and love is the kingdom. What is love? It is raw truth. People fear it because it means freedom, they want freedom for themselves but fear what freedom means for everyone else. The kingdom is full of radicals. Radicals are people who do not fear being wrong. They fear being quiet. Open your mind, open your heart, and open your mouth. Stop being afraid of true freedom, stop being afraid of being wrong. Stand up and fight, fight for freedom because true freedom is the only opposition to fear. 

Be a King

You are the king of your life

1. Stop Lying. Stop holding things back and holding them in. Be honest always. We always tend to project our needs, inadequate self image, and unhappiness on the people and circumstances around us. Here is the secret, YOU ARE LIEING TO YOURSELF and everyone around you. Be honest with yourself. If something in your life is not right, it’s all you. 

2. Earn her affection. Earn it.  Take charge of where you want the relationship to go. Own it and lead it like a king. Most of us expect our relationships to just keep an even flow of love, affection, and attention with maximum effort in the begging and continually decreasing as time goes on. My wife and I have been going through some very tough relationship issues.  I have learned that if you want affection you earn it. If you want love you fight for it. If you want intimacy then you need to be someone your partner wants to be intimate with.

3. Calm down! Become less of an emotional turmoiled little bitch. Own this thing called life. Take those deep breathes, exhale, and then move forward. We all take everything way to personal. Your relationship is in shambles because you didn’t put into it what you needed to. Your life is stuck because you aren’t putting in the work and risk to do something different. Step back, take a breath, stop whining, stop asking why me, and crack on!!!!

4. Never let a single day take away your happiness. EVER!!! Rise up every moment of every day.  

5. You control what influences your thought. No one and nothing else but you. Stop blaming and start being a King. Own your mind. Your anxiety, stress, frustration, exhaustion, anger, and emotional pain is all in your mind. If it is within you, then it belongs to you, if it belongs to you then you have to take responsibility for it and you can in fact change it. 

6. Suppress the needs you need to suppress. Don’t be controlled by primal instincts. The king focuses his attention on the right things. Everyone has unmet needs in their lives. Those needs may be relational, financial, social, and many others. Some days your needs will be met and others won’t, don’t let those things control your drive and your emotional state. Most of the things we believe to be needs are simply desires. Yes life is better when we have our needs met. But sometimes those needs control our behaviors and cause us to make the wrong decisions.

7. Accept nothing less than excellence from yourself every day. 

8. Smile!!! As often and as much as you can. It’s hard for some people to walk around with a smile on their face, and others are naturally that way. Simply smiling helps to bring about a happiness within you. Finding a way to smile in the depth of the mess that is your life is the first step of moving forward into something new. 

Thoughts on turning 30

In three days I will be turning thirty years old, and to be honest, up until tonight it has scared the hell out of me. I looked at it as another year gone by and a decade now in the past. I look at the last decade and at the things I have accomplished and it feels like every year was just another hill to climb and another hole to dig out of. My birthdays came and went, and I never became anything more than what I was the year before. Yes, I accomplished things, but they weren’t great enough. Tonight I looked up the Biblical significance of the age thirty and I found that it is an age of maturity. Joseph, Jesus, David, Ezekiel, and many more, all started a path to greatness at the age of thirty. For those of you that know me, you will understand that my past has not been an easy road by any means. Where I stand today, three days before the start of my thirtieth year, I have found myself having been led by the father into the deepest of waters. I am at a place where I would surely fail if I stood alone. In all honesty, at times it’s a fearful place to be because I know the Father led me here, and I must trust him every day to keep my feet above the water. Though, I would much rather be in the deep water relying on the Father to keep me moving than sitting and waiting in safety and security. Much of my life I feel has been waiting for something to change, something to happen. The desire of my heart has always been to do something greater than anything I can do by myself. My constant prayer over the last few months has been, ‘Father make me a man of greatness, a man of wisdom and renown. wpid-wp-1430281484630.jpegBless me and help me to bring about a great portion of your Kingdom. Be with me always, guide my heart and direct my feet. Prosper me and help me to change the world. Make this covenant with me Father.’ I have prayed this prayer over and over and over. I believe that my Will is in line with the Fathers Will for my life, and I have great expectations for what he will do next. He told me that this will be a year of Jubilee, a literal re-set. I am praying that this thirtieth year will be my year of freedom, of anointing, of wisdom, of healing, and greatness. My heart will always long to become more than what I am, and my desire is that the Father sets me on that path and guides me through the dark water. Tomorrow I will wake up and know that seeking his face is the only way I will be able to continue moving forward. I am not in a place of desperation, but a place where He led me, not a mess I got myself into but an opportunity to start walking in destiny. The funny thing is, where God has led me is much harder and more frightening than anywhere I could have gone on my own. But, he keeps my feet above the water, and he keeps me moving forward. I pray that I find my anointing and start living in it.