Thoughts on turning 30

In three days I will be turning thirty years old, and to be honest, up until tonight it has scared the hell out of me. I looked at it as another year gone by and a decade now in the past. I look at the last decade and at the things I have accomplished and it feels like every year was just another hill to climb and another hole to dig out of. My birthdays came and went, and I never became anything more than what I was the year before. Yes, I accomplished things, but they weren’t great enough. Tonight I looked up the Biblical significance of the age thirty and I found that it is an age of maturity. Joseph, Jesus, David, Ezekiel, and many more, all started a path to greatness at the age of thirty. For those of you that know me, you will understand that my past has not been an easy road by any means. Where I stand today, three days before the start of my thirtieth year, I have found myself having been led by the father into the deepest of waters. I am at a place where I would surely fail if I stood alone. In all honesty, at times it’s a fearful place to be because I know the Father led me here, and I must trust him every day to keep my feet above the water. Though, I would much rather be in the deep water relying on the Father to keep me moving than sitting and waiting in safety and security. Much of my life I feel has been waiting for something to change, something to happen. The desire of my heart has always been to do something greater than anything I can do by myself. My constant prayer over the last few months has been, ‘Father make me a man of greatness, a man of wisdom and renown. wpid-wp-1430281484630.jpegBless me and help me to bring about a great portion of your Kingdom. Be with me always, guide my heart and direct my feet. Prosper me and help me to change the world. Make this covenant with me Father.’ I have prayed this prayer over and over and over. I believe that my Will is in line with the Fathers Will for my life, and I have great expectations for what he will do next. He told me that this will be a year of Jubilee, a literal re-set. I am praying that this thirtieth year will be my year of freedom, of anointing, of wisdom, of healing, and greatness. My heart will always long to become more than what I am, and my desire is that the Father sets me on that path and guides me through the dark water. Tomorrow I will wake up and know that seeking his face is the only way I will be able to continue moving forward. I am not in a place of desperation, but a place where He led me, not a mess I got myself into but an opportunity to start walking in destiny. The funny thing is, where God has led me is much harder and more frightening than anywhere I could have gone on my own. But, he keeps my feet above the water, and he keeps me moving forward. I pray that I find my anointing and start living in it.

 

 

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