I am writing a book about religion and I wanted to share a portion from chapter 5.
God will fix you.
No, God will not fix you. He can give you the tools and guidance to fix yourself but he will not fix you. Remember David still had to fight the giant. He was given some tools to do the job but God did not do it for him. Change requires action on your part. The church teaches that you must find God before you can find yourself. Because of this millions of Christians are sitting around broken and waiting for God to show them their path, or who they are, or they wait for him do to their heavy lifting. I do not want my children to find their identity in me, or spend their life waiting for me to tell them their destiny. I want them to use my guidance to find their own identity within themselves and then walk that path. God is very much the same way, he doesn’t want you to find your identity in him, he wants you to find it within yourself and live that out while having a relationship with him. Trying to find your identity in God is like trying to become a mountain when you were born a cloud. We are each unique creations and God is not trying to turn every human into himself, he wants a relationship with our uniqueness. Start looking at God through the eyes of a good father. A good father desires that his kids find who they are within themselves, and he understands this must be done on their own. He guides, he loves, he teaches, and he allows his children to become whatever it is in their heart to become. If I design a path for my son to follow and then predestined his life to match that path, then I have created nothing more than a robot to fulfill my own selfish desires. We are not robots, and God desires that we search within ourselves to find a discovery much more valuable than anything else in the world. By searching within we can unlock our true self and we will find him in the process. Love is what you find within yourself once you get to the core, and if God is love then you will find him there as well. This is why religion is so toxic to self discovery. Here is what so many are taught; love God, but you better hate yourself because you are a sinner and a hopeless failure desperately needing redemption and grace. I spent decades looking for deliverance from my problems in the walls of a church. I prayed, I got involved, I showed up to every conference, and I waited for God to move on my behalf. Then I realized he was waiting on me to move myself. The tools were already there and he had been trying to guide me for years, but I was focusing in the wrong direction. I dug into myself, not through prayer, not by asking God to do it for me, I dug into myself for myself. The tools had always been right there, I just had to stop looking out and start looking in. I took the guidance God gave me and I sought people who had the means to teach me how to use the tools inside me. It was not a church, preacher, prayer team, or a divine miracle. For me it took a coach, a martial arts fighter, a graveyard, a meditation teacher, an ice bath, and a back pack full of stones. Finding freedom through religion did not work, and it never really has. Jesus didn’t find himself by God telling him his identity. He spent 40 days starving in the desert attempting to overcome an accuser. In the original Greek texts for Mathew 4:1 the word used in the translation “Tempt” in Greek means to “try”, “endeavor”, or “to attempt something.” as well the word “Devil” used in the translation originally meant “an accuser”, or “anyone opposed to you”. Try to get your mind to separate itself from your images of a red skinned and horned creature from popular culture. What if this is an account of Jesus overcoming himself and searching out his true self, digging in and discovering his own identity. It was not until shortly after this that Jesus began his ministry. Is it so hard to see Jesus in the desert, alone, quietly facing himself and overcoming the accuser that was within him, himself. Jesus had to discover himself before he could walk out his destiny and God did not do it for him. He freed the world from sin, but he did not free you from having to live in the world. Yes, you are in the world and you are of the world and it kicks your ass just like it does everyone else. Religion is afraid of self discovery, meditation, and mysticism because they fear what they don’t understand and what they cannot control. When you start looking inside yourself and begin to know yourself and love yourself you become powerful. Your love for everything deepens because your ability to love becomes a deeper more meaningful thing. You stop being just another defeated person waiting around for God to fix you. Religion is designed to suppress the true potential of people. People are not taught how to unconditionally love themselves because not discovering that love keeps them always defeated in one way or another. Only you can find out who you truly are, and that truth is hidden under years of scars and pain and if you want it bad enough you will find a way to use the tools to uncover it. It will hurt, because this endeavor always requires some sort suffering. My suffering was both physical and emotional, and yours will be different because no two paths are alike. Seek first the Kingdom! The kingdom of heaven is inside of you and you must dig and you must fight to find your own identity and uncover the power that exists inside you. God has given you all the tools and if you don’t know how to use them find people who can show you. Stop waiting for God to answer your prayers while you sit on your ass doing the same things. You already have everything you need, start looking in and discover the person you are.